Lately, I’ve been living in a strange tension — a real joy, mixed with a certain stress. A pull between excitement and responsibility. I find myself trying to prepare as much as possible for what’s ahead, trying to anticipate, understand, calculate. God is calling us to go abroad, to bring the Gospel, and naturally, that comes with many questions.

In our hearts, there has always been this desire to pour into someone. To give, to walk with others, to invest our lives. But before any of that, the journey started with us. People poured into our lives — and they still do today. And before anything else, God poured into our lives. That’s where everything begins. That’s where the desire comes from to make God known to people who don’t know Him, or who may have never even heard of Him.

This isn’t about building a ministry. What I personally receive the most from all of this — and it may sound selfish — is this: God reveals Himself to me. God reveals Himself to us. God reveals Himself to our children. And that’s what sustains me. That’s what fuels me.

I want to know God. Not just in words. I want to know Him in truth. I want to know Him in action.

And yet, despite all of this, moments of stress still come. I see myself a bit like Abraham when God led him into a new season, and fear crept in — fear for his wife, fear of what might happen. Even while walking with God, he hesitated. He told a half-truth. I relate to that. Every time God leads me out of my comfort zone, there’s that quiet “yes, but…” that tries to surface.

And at the same time, I love that place. Because it’s there that I’m forced to come back to God. It’s there that I need to withdraw, to refocus, to truly seek Him.

Lately, my mind has been full — family, finances, friendships, culture, different cultures, illnesses, the unknown. I try to prepare, to analyze everything from every angle. But in the end, I realize that it slowly pulls my eyes away from what matters most: being in His presence.

This morning, God gently reminded me.

“Philippe, remember everything I have done for you.
Remember when you arrived where you are now — you had nothing.
Look at where you are today.
You have a safe place.
You have furniture.
You are with your family.
You have friends, a job, a vehicle.
Remember how I took care of you.”

That reminder freed me. It lifted a weight. Remembering brought me back to trust.

Throughout Scripture, God constantly calls His people to remember. Jesus does it too. Forgetting is often where we stumble.

I would love to reach a place one day where I no longer need God to remind me of what He has done for me — where I am so rooted that no matter the storm, I know He is there. But when I look back, I see real growth. Progressive growth. Almost exponential.

I take a step. I take a risk. I step out of my comfort zone.
God reveals Himself. God works in me.
I become comfortable… for a time.
Then God calls me out again.

Why? Because every time, I learn. I learn to know Him. And each time, my trust grows deeper.

That’s what drives me. I want to know Him. To know Him in my weakness. To know Him when He leads me into situations I don’t understand. To know Him when He reveals Himself — often in unexpected ways.

I know God reveals Himself differently to each person. But this is how He works with me. And it’s good for me.

I don’t want to do things just to do things.
I want to learn to know Him.

Because eternal life is knowing Him.

And it’s beautiful, because I also come to know Him through others. When He reveals Himself in their lives. When He uses me to reveal Himself to someone else.

That’s what I’m passionate about.

So yes, I’m heading toward an unknown place, completely outside my comfort zone. And my curiosity is this:
How will God reveal Himself there?
How will He use me?
What does He want to show me through the lives of those people?

I don’t know yet.
But I remember.
And for today, that is enough.